It’s been a strange week, the one that just ended. I found myself crying when crying was the last thing I wanted to do, really (I generally don’t mind crying, it helps me get stuff out and relax, but I need to be in the right mood for a good cry and I was most definitely not when I cried this week). Then my body just gave up and I found myself exhausted, sick. I had to pause, spend a day in bed stunned by a wild migraine. Outside my window the snow had started to fall again. All the snow that had not showed up in January – there it was. In March.
Then something extraordinary happened during the weekend. I woke up at 6:30 and realised that it was light outside. The dreadful winter darkness is finally shrinking to less and less hours, soon to be confined only to the deepest time of the night. On a sunny day some 10 days ago I had already noticed how late the sunset is happening now, but I had never really realised how early the dawn breaks these days. The day that followed was glorious, not a cloud to be seen. 24 hours of continuous plus temperatures, not even the night had dared to drop to minus. This is the first sign that spring is just around the corner and the snow will soon melt away.I can say I have successfully survived my third Swedish winter and I am ready for spring. I love winter, and it is a shame to acknowledge that global warming has made even Sweden a place where winter can be fairly mild at times. But even when warmer in temperatures, the Swedish winter will always be dark. I have to confess that I got to love this feature of winter, one that had seemed dreadful the first year. There comes a time towards the end of summer when I start longing for those long winter nights and those pastel sunsets that seem to come always too early.
But the time has come to let go of winter and open my heart to the next season in line. At this time of the year we almost have 12 hours of daylight and waking up in the morning becomes easier and more natural every day. The trees are empty of snow and making room for blossoms. The streets are filled with the sound of the melting snow. Yes, I am ready for spring.
It was in March one year ago that we moved into our new apartment. It felt like our life in Sweden was finally moving forward after the seemingly endless stagnancy of the first year and a half as new immigrants. It is unfair now to overlook all the little progresses we made since day 1, but moving into a proper house felt like I was finally having the magnificent new beginning I had not really experienced when we arrived.Until the day that I move out of this house (a next big step towards feeling even more integrated in this society?) my favourite thing will always be to enjoy my filtered coffee on the veranda. I tried today, but it’s still too cold to prperly enjoy it. Soon. Soon it will be warm enough to start riding my bike to work again and enjoy my coffee breaks outside.
In the meantime I’m dreaming of Russia and reading in my mother tongue.